


==> Rogue: Visit

by InkWitch (serkestic)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, need i say more, roxy is a rogue and snowman is a mobster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-30
Updated: 2014-03-30
Packaged: 2018-01-17 14:04:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1390528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serkestic/pseuds/InkWitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This was going to be a huge plot fic, but let's face it: I have no patience for plot fics.</p>
    </blockquote>





	==> Rogue: Visit

**Author's Note:**

> This was going to be a huge plot fic, but let's face it: I have no patience for plot fics.

“The Black Queen,” Roxy drawled, pitching her feet up to rest on the ornate desktop. “In the _flesh_. You’re losing your touch, ma’am.”

The mob boss smiled, sitting on the corner of her desk and tapping a sheathed rapier against her knees; it was a dangerous smile, soft and frosty like snow. Her carapace was a gleaming black, the colour of ink swells, and when she grinned, Roxy could see that her teeth flash – they looked as if each ivory incisor had been sharpened on a whetstone.

Queen leaned forward and Roxy smelled her breath: cool mint tea. She suppressed her shudder. “I still can’t quite believe that the Rogue herself is right in front of me. You are quite a celebrity, Miss Lalonde. Of course, much could be said about your methods and your, ahem,” here she glanced away as if _ashamed_ to say this, “conquests. But overall, I would say you _quite_ deserve the name you’ve created for yourself.”

Roxy’s smile twisted salaciously. “Very kind, to be sure. But you know,” she wriggled and chafed her arms against the bonds that tied her to the chair, “not to sound ungrateful, or anything, but is this really how you treat all your celebrity guests? Not that I’m uncomfortable or anything, it’s just that, well, being tied to a chair is kind of, you know, _uncomfortable_.”

Queen smiled again, her expression a mixture of regret and glee. “Oh,” she purred. “I’m going to _enjoy_ skinning you.” She snapped open her rapier, holding the thin point over Roxy’s arched eyebrow and laying the flat against her palm. Draconian steel, Roxy noted faintly, and Queen freezes it regularly; she could feel the oppressive cold radiating from the steel and pricking her skin. Her bravado didn’t falter.

“You’re not going to kill me.”

The carapacian pressed the rapier’s tip on Roxy’s skin, not _pricking_ , but just resting it there. “I promise you,” said Queen. “I really am.”

“Nope. You’re not. And can you get that away from me? That’s even _more_ uncomfortable than this chair.”

Somehow, Queen complied with her sass and cocked her head. “Dear, _dear_ Miss Lalonde,” she said with a hint of amusement in her wintry voice. “Neither you nor I have much time for bullshitting. Now, I really want to know how human skin looks _off_ a human body and you’re already here, a nice and might I say _lovely_ experimental subject. I assume you don’t want to die? I also assume that you broke into my casino for some other reason than exchanging witty rejoinders with me. So please, get on with whatever you think is going to save you from inevitable death.”

Roxy shifted away from the rapier and pulled her feet back to the floor, smiling like the Cheshire cat. “But I do so enjoy our witty rejoinders. If you _insist_ , though, I’ll get to the point.” Queen’s face tightened and Roxy had to bite her tongue to keep from giggling. “You won’t kill me. Be _cause_ ,” here she paused for dramatic effect and grinned into Queen’s face, “I have the Jewel of Skaia.”

The rapier disappeared; Roxy smiled even more broadly. The mob boss studied her face for a few seconds before treading back to her seat behind the desk, placing the rapier in front of her with utmost care. For some reason, Roxy experienced a flash of memory: someone setting a pair of knitting needles down in front of her, black-painted nails tapping the white tablecloth, golden bubbles in a glass of champagne.  She shook it off as Queen leaned back and spoke.

“You do not have the Jewel of Skaia.”

“I do, though,” Roxy said. “Well, technically, my _team_ knows where it’s _hidden_ and I know how to get it. But yes. Essentially, I have the Jewel of Skaia.”

Queen’s laugh was caustic and dug into her skin; Roxy grimaced at the dripping condescension. “I personally know that the Jewel of Skaia is where it has always been,” Queen’s eyes narrowed, “in Eihg, protected by _Imperial drones_. And Eihg is light years from here; you’re not really implying that you went all the way out near the Boundaries to steal the Jewel of Skaia just to _bargain_ with me?”

“I have a ship, distance ain’t really a big old thing,” she waved her hand. “And, anyways, the jewel that you are so excellently keeping surveillance on is a fake. A very good fake – I only work with the best, of course – but nonetheless, not the real thing. _I_ have the real thing.”

Queen leaned back in her chair again, caressing the length of her rapier with two deliberate fingertips. There was a small, smug smile playing on her lips as she said, “I’ve heard about your witch friend.”

Roxy stiffened; she pitched her feet up again in nonchalance. Queen continued, eyes glinting, “It seems to me very _queer_ that neither you nor she is concerned about her elusive past. I mean, I _know_ humans are rare commodity and no doubt you are just happy enough that you have friends of the same species as you, but. She is not even an orphan. The Witch seemed to come into being right out of _space_.”

“And this is relevant, how?”

“Oh,” Queen waved her hand nonchalantly; but her jubilant smile didn’t waver. “Just curious.”

“Jade and I are co-captains,” she shrugged. “She earned her place on Jaspers just like the rest of us. It’s not my place to question her origins or whatever. Humans are a lot more _respectful_ of each other than other species, you see. But I don’t see how this pertains to the Jewel of Skaia.”

Queen dropped her eyes down to her rapier; Roxy braced her spine. “Back to business then,” the mob boss murmured. “I’m inclined to believe you have the jewel, Miss Lalonde, so I’ll play fair; name your price.”

 “I’m not going for the gold, though. I’m going for _information_.”

A roll of her eyes and Queen gave a prolonged sigh. “I would never be as tacky as to assume you’d ‘go for the gold’, as you say. And I promise I will get you the data you want; I have infomerchants planted all over the universe. Name your price, rogue.”

Roxy shrugged. “I want the location of Lord English’s mansion.”

The rapier reappeared, poised between Roxy’s eyes. She forwent trying to keep the point in line of sight and settled for staring at Queen’s pupilless eyes. “Deals off, little thief,” Queen crooned before plunging the sword straight into Roxy’s cranium.

Roxy flickered.

The mob boss whirled around, eyes studying every corner of the office, keeping the weapon at ready. The rogue was nowhere to be seen, but her voice rose out from behind Queen. She whirled around: nothing there.

“Seriously, I was going to give you the _Jewel of Skaia_ for _free_ ,” Roxy whined. “All I wanted was an _address_ and maybe a phone number.”

“You are delusional if you think I would help you get near the Lord,” Queen hissed.

“Not as much help as _sell out_ , but whatever. Guess _this_ was a bust. You’d really give up the Jewel of Skaia in lieu of protecting your benefactor?”

“You are not much to protect from, rogue,” Queen laughed.

“Oh, I _hate_ people who underestimate me. ‘Til we meet again, Queen. By the way,” the mob boss heard a _shlick_ , as if something was being drawn out from above her. But when she looked up, there was nothing. “A present from the guy who got me in here. He says, ‘with love’, but I’m pretty sure he was being sarcastic.”

A _fwhip_ and Queen dodged out of instinct, the knife burying itself in the wall right behind her head. She yanked it out and studied it with gentle fingers: ivory, light and the hilt was clean black wood with silver studs. Simple; deadly. She grinned up at the flickering holograph of Roxy Lalonde, Rogue of the Void: it had frozen into a sassy tilt of the head and pouting lips.

The thrown knife stabbed clean through the holograph to the display chip.

 


End file.
